That’s my mantra for today..

Fucking enough! Unfuckingbelievable – yes one word, cause it just sounds nicer!

Yes, a mouth like a sailor : ) For sure, but all good cause the internet says that those that curse are brilliant.. Yeah no, probably not, but I will take it! AND SO SHOULD YOU!

Practicing mindfulness when my mind is exploding is simply not possible. Hell .. I tried.

BUT…

I vented, found my support, reached into my soul , screamed a little, sent a scathing text (to my kids) and began to breath a little deeper.

I’ll be honest , I am fairly laid back and at time  do way to much for everyone. Do you know anyone like that?

My two adult kids and my 13 year old live with me ( and my two dogs, Finny and Yukon). Let’s just put it out there..my daughter and her wonderful partner just had a beautiful baby boy. My goal was to help them get started, cause in this day and age its practically impossible. So, they rent my second floor from me (cheap, so cheap) they can save and I get to spend time with my precious grand-baby- selfishness on my part.

But sometimes its like a resort- sometimes they don’t understand that I am slightly OCD and can’t function when things are out of place, or scattered throughout my space, or dishes are piles up to the ceiling- hands are not broken, legs work fine, they all no how to use a sponge..

I just do it- AND I NEED TO STOP.

My eldest is in recovery and at the moment he is rebuilding his world, and doing an amazing job. Working the program, has a sponsor, therapist and expressing his feeling. Minute by Minute , Day by Day he fights… but he two is capable of busting his ass.

My 13 year old..is well 13..finally he began taking showers everyday- he must have met a girl..but I am thankful! He too is capable and when I nag the shit out of him, WITH A SMILE completes any task.

I am not bitching, I know I could force the issue and make them accountable- I do have my good days where that actually happens. And than I have my “crap” I can’t look at one more thing, ask one more time, clean one more dish…today was that day..

HOWEVER, instead of cleaning, washing or putting away… I vented, found my support, reached into my soul , screamed a little, sent a scathing text (to my kids) and began to breath a little deeper.

My 13 year old came out and hugged me, proceeded to put all dishes away and cook dinner ! My daughter sent me a text “Sorry mom and my oldest asked me to pick him up. Two out of three ain’t bad.

My point … I need to enforce the expectations and not be afraid of the landslide..I need to be a role model so that when they can be great role models, I need to stop doing- unless its my shit!

NO – its not a bad word !

It’s just one part of self care!

Have a great day and thanks for listening…I feel better and I hope you find that our worlds are probably pretty similar!